I CAN’T ALLOW ME TO SINK IN THAT DEEP!!!
Depression is one of the worst things that can happen to a person. You feel disoriented always and can’t just figure out whats wrong with you. You can lose your cool on minor things and won’t even notice. Even moments of joy become sometimes grim. But the worst part of it is you are not able to understand how to get out of it.
In the software industry, where you spend straight 10-12 hours on thinking solutions for someone else’s problem, it can creep to you anytime if you are not careful. I was experiencing the same for past some time. I wasn’t able to enjoy things, outings were depleting, every funny conversation was turning another thing to deeply think about for me, food was distasteful. Sometimes I seemed the grimmest person on earth. This continued for few months until I decided to put an end to it. I can’t just allow myself to sink into this depression. You have to believe me its the much difficult thing to do when you don’t know how to do it.
I decided to meet some psychiatrist and get treatment. But I was afraid that without family I won’t be able to keep up medication (I live in another city). Besides that, I didn’t want me to turn into another psycho running on some drugs. So I decided to look for alternatives and then a thought really struck my mind “You are the best psychiatrist to yourself when you don’t tell lies to yourself“. I decided to try and started to work out on it.
I started to read about it. Its causes, precautions, treatments, remedies, everything I could get hands on. For me, it was just feeling like learning a new framework. Road-map was ready and needed to execute now. I went to my office management and told them that I was not able to focus on my work completely and wanted to improve the things so need some break. They were supportive and tried their best to help me. So I took off and started working out on my self.
First thing I started with some exercise. When you are tired physically you tend to sleep more effectively. The second thing you need to keep your nutrition right. Depression takes a toll on your health and to recover you need energy. Couple it with some outdoor activities and you can see improvements coming.
I am still not sure if I was able to understand early or what things I did right but I was able to get out of this situation with help of friends and family. My cheerful mood is back and I am able to focus on work better. I have started a blog to keep me occupied. Things are improving and every day is a bright new day.
